Esberg to Copenhagen on two wheels

National Cycle Route 6 travels from the fartherst western point of Denmark to the mostern eastern tip, swapping mundane highways for pristine countryside, castles, beaches and little villages that look like they belong to Ragnar Lothbrok (hello, Vikings fans).

I’m sure there was a thing or two to learn about our historical surroundings aside from its resemblance to our beloved Netflix series, but our agenda was far too preoccupied with the constructions of our next Danish Smørrebrød (the famous open sandwhich). Basically, we rode 325 kilometres across the country on a quest for the best half-made sandwhich.

But it was worth every revolution.

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Prior to this expedition, my longest ride ranked in at about 8 kilometres, so it only seemed natural to ride the breadth of a country in 3 days.  My legs had enough lactic acid to formulate a hydrocholoric bomb, but the true brutality lied solely in the world’s most unforving seat – inflicting the most distressful form of chafe imaginable, which initially had me questioning my sexual health.

I cound’t walk. At night, I had to waddle to and from the campground’s bathroom, soothing pawpaw ointment over my bits to distinguish the flames. Every nerve in my brain was ringing the alarm system, I felt like repeatedly hitting my head against a wall would somehow be less painful than the burning sensation in my crotch.

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This must be the sport’s best kept secret because never in my wildest dreams did I think I was going to finish the journey with a scabby butt. Never again will I cast judgemental eyes over the flocks of cyclists shamelessly sporting lycra suction capped to their balls at the local cafes.

Nevertheless, Cycle Route 6 is a highly recommendable way to grasp the country in just three days. There are also other National Cycling Routes to consider, especially the epic 526 km trek from Hanstholm to Copenhagen along National Cycle Route 2,  although lycra and some cycling experience would be recommended. And a blanket, that would have been useful too.

Ems xx

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